So, I didn’t just flip through the book of quotations that I mentioned in my post last week, I actually bought it. In the foreword, the editor, Russ Kick, mentions a challenge that Yoko Ono proposes, “Try to say nothing negative about anybody for three days, for forty-five days, for three months. See what happens to your life.” I read that Friday evening right before going to bed.
I make it a point to go to yoga every Saturday morning that I’m in town, as my favorite teacher at the Y, Leslie, offers up a great class. As I’m weaving in and out of traffic, rushing, I hear the words, “@#&*ing idiot!” easily spew out of my mouth at the driver in front of me, hanging in the air. He’s taking too long to turn into a parking lot and I have to hit my brakes. The acoustics are good because I’m in my car.
I realize that I have set the stage for this little drama by not leaving myself enough time to get to class without rushing. I’m agitated and anxious, angry. Am I really speeding to yoga, yelling at other drivers and yellow lights, to hurry up so that I can get to my mat, get in my body, center, breathe in and out and relax? What is wrong with this picture?
Don’t get me wrong, the goal is not about always being nice or squelching difficult emotions. Lord knows I’ve overrated this quality, at my expense. What strikes me is the control that I have and am not exercising to make my life more peaceful. I would not be ramped up if I were being respectful of time and reasonably pacing myself.
As playwright, set designer, diva, director, audience and critic of my life, I want to be mindful of what I am writing, creating and projecting.
So, start over, day one, baby steps, and let’s see if I can say nothing negative for the next few hours and make it to lunch.